Recently in the UK it was mother’s day, and every year when that day comes around I can’t help but feel a little solemn. I won’t go into too much detail, those closest to me know the history, but essentially my mother is not in my life (for a great many reasons really, my mum isn’t around and I’ve grown up without her. Unfortunately she didn’t want to be a part of my life, though I choose to believe that that’s more unfortunate for her than it is for me.
Nonetheless each year around mother’s day I can’t help but reflect. It’s hard – It’s hard to grow up without a mum (whether you had a loving mum who you’ve sadly lost or whether your mum isn’t in your life for other reasons.) It’s hard not to have mother daughter days, not to have that close loving bond (or to have lost it), not to have those special mummy cuddles and it’s hard to know that the woman who brought you into this world isn’t there; sometimes it hurts.
One of the most incredible women I know tragically lost her mum when she was younger and that’s a pain much different to mine that I simply couldn’t possibly contemplate. That being said, she is so incredibly strong, this woman I know, it’s impossible to describe how absolutely beautiful she is, inside and out. I’ve had the incredible honour of growing up with this woman, I’ve seen first-hand the strength and grace she exudes every single day and though I was never fortunate enough to meet her mum, I know that she is looking down on her from the heavens and the stars bursting with love and pride, I know this because this woman is one of my best friends and I feel this way about her. ~I know you read my blogs sweetheart, so please know that though we’re without out mums, I count us lucky to have found each other and to have such an exquisite friendship that has lasted so many years, and will last so many more to come.~
I’d also like to take the time to mention all the dad’s out there who have stepped up and done the job of both mum and dad, which can’t be easy. I’m so grateful my daddy done this for me. I think that there’s always more awareness of this for single mums than there is for single dads and that’s not really fair in my opinion.
I’d also like to mention all the ‘honorary’ mums out there, the women who took in a child that wasn’t their own and welcomed them into hearts, homes or both. I’m fortunate to have had such women in my life, and though often there can never really be a full kind of replacement, please know that if you’ve done this for someone it means more than you will ever know. Sometimes a mum isn’t the woman who gave you life, sometimes it’s the person who helped you become who you are today. It’s beautiful to have that incredible parental love but it’s also amazing to feel love from someone who chose to let you into their life and love you when they’ve no obligation to do so. Thank you, deeply from the bottom of my heart, to those who have done so for me.
I can’t wait to be a mum one day, to share the love that I’ve been shown, to break the cycle that’s been and to let my child know that they are loved unconditionally – because one thing I know is that no matter who you are or where you’re from, that’s what you deserve; in fact, it’s the very least we all deserve.
So, on a final note, to all those without a mum on mother’s day each year, cherish any beautiful memories you have with your mum if you’ve been lucky enough and cherish the ones in your life who have shown you love if you haven’t.