I want to be a lesser woman. Oh yes, you did hear me right. You’ll probably never hear me say that in any other circumstance, but in this one it’s all too true.
Basically, I want to lose weight. I have actually wanted to lose weight for a while but have struggled with the follow through. So it’s about time that I took the plunge to properly commit to losing weight in a positive way.
I know it’s very important to be healthy and fit, blah blah blah….. But I’m not going to lie, I want to lose weight because I want to look better. I want to feel better. The health benefits are a bonus. (Potentially the wrong way of looking at it, but surely it’s best to go with the reason that motivates you most, no?)
You see, I’ve gotten to the rather tragic point right now where I’m uncomfortable in my own skin, it might be a cliché but it’s true. I dread the idea of finding an outfit on a daily basis, I hate getting ready to go out when I feel frumpy and unattractive and to be perfectly honest I’m somewhat repulsed by myself. Who wants to feel that way, i mean really?! It’s just sad. The more I think about it the more I think that it’s shameful that I’ve let myself get to this point where I’m so unhappy with myself, and that’s not an easy thing to admit to the world online but I’m hoping that by doing so it will give me some more motivation to really make a change, for good. It’s going to be just a little embarrassing if I make this declaration online and then don’t follow through so I’d better bloody stick to it this time, hadn’t I?!
So here’s what I’d like; i’d like to feel more confident. I’d like my boyfriend to find me more attractive (don’t get me wrong he loves me but I’m well aware I’m twice the woman I once was, and I don’t mean that in a good way!) I’d like to enjoy going clothes shopping again. I’d like to be excited to get dressed in the morning and not be terrified of my reflection (apart from maybe in the mornings, I can accept that everyone’s a little scary first thing in the mornings aren’t they? No, just me? Ok, moving on….) Generally I want to be happier in myself and shifting this blasted weight is totally a step in the right direction.
How do I plan to I manage this?
I’ve tried various different diets in the past and they’ve never quite worked out, at least not in the long-term. So I’ve enlisted a little help in the form of Weight Watchers Online. I decided to go down the route of the online plan because I just know I won’t find the time to get to meetings and I’m not sure they’re for me anyway. I chose the online option so that I can keep track on what I’m eating both online and on the app which means that I’ll have to make healthier choices and keep a track of what I’m putting in this gob of mine. The idea, for me at least, is that I’m not completely restricted but I’ve got some kind of a plan to follow and hopefully stick to!
The online plan at the moment is £12.95/month and there’s a deal right now where they are waving the joining fee and throwing in a cookbook; not too shabby. I’m hoping that by paying for this service and having something to stick to/ follow I’ll do better this time, stick to my guns and lose weight long-term.
I also plan on going to the gym more, though I’m going to have to ease myself in slowly, so that I have a good balance of eating better and exercise. I can log any exercise I do on the app/online too.
I don’t expect this to be an easy journey, I don’t expect to see results straight away (something I’ll have to remind myself along the way, I think) but it’s something I need to do.
I hope anyone who reads this and relates can find the motivation they need too and take the plunge. It’s one of those things you have to be ready to commit to and stick to, for now and for the future. They say that the things worth having in life are the things you have to work hard for, so this is me deciding to put in the effort and make the changes necessary to make myself happy.
I’ll keep you updated and we can see where this goes and how it all works out.
Wish me luck!